Saturday, January 11, 2014

Taking on Kohls

I have the flu. Of course I do. I've been blessed with the worlds (seemingly) lowest immune system. Count on me to catch a cold from the stranger that sneezed across the street, walking in the opposite direction. My sicknesses don't just end with the sniffles though. Oh, no. Nope, I get the full shabang- fevers, vomiting, the poops, and the pathetic "please save me" eyes. (I've mastered those ;) ) So what did I decide to do today? That's right, start a blog. "Wait until you're healthy and can focus on what you're doing!", says...well, everyone. Naw, once I make a decision, I go for it! So, in honor of  my very first blog post, I give you... Taking on Kohls..!

The other day my husband and I were killing some time, waiting for curtian call at my sons very first play (ahhh... that'sa story for another day!), so we stopped at Kohls for a little stroll through the danger zone. Now, visiting Kohls is a slippery slope, friends! It's a scary peice of heaven that makes you leave with significantly less money in your bank account. But! Not this time! This time I played the Kohls game, and won!

We started wandering around, no real goal in mind, looking at clearance iteams 'cause I'm cheap like that. We started out with purses, and this was a mistake. I hoard purses. Seriously. I adore them. And these purses were 70% off! <sqweeeeee> My only saving grace here was my anxiety. In my excitment I managed to trigger a panic attack. So here I am, looking at purses and hyperventaling, until my husband can't stand the sounds of me gasping for air anymore and leads me away. Just in the nic of time! (Although I have to admit that I was looking over my shoulder at those beautiful leather pouches that are so buttery soft and lovely!)

Moving on.

Next we went to the picture frame/stuff to hang on the wall area. This is another downfall of mine. I walked around these isles, running my fingers across frames in a wistfull manner. The thing is, we literally don't have room on any of my walls for a single thing. None. So, we continued our browsing.
We got to the candle section and all of my resolve went out the window. I'm a sucker for those yummy, sweet, food smelling ones! So I'm looking, looking, and suddenly it was like the clouds parted and a halo of sunshine beamed down on this one particular candle. 
"Lemon Cream" by Yankee.
*insert angels singing here*
This was one of those giant candles, not a tiny little one that makes you raise your eyebrows skeptically when you turn it over to read the price tag. Nope, this was a beaut. A gem. AND it had a clearance sticker on it. The angels sang a little louder. Originally $27 marked down to $10.47. I could feel my excitement building and the panic attack couldn't be far behind. 
"Breath," I told myself. "Just breath."
All the sudden inspiration struck. Coupons! I dug through my purse to find that bright red Kohls coupon that I knew I had in there and held it up triumphantly. Ha! I had one of those majestic $10 off anything in the store coupons! I grabbed my candle and dragged my husband to the checkout register.

The cashier scanned my candle, scanned my coupon and she gasped in surprise! "Oh my gosh! That'll be 88 cents please!" A huge grin spread across my face and I might have chortled a little bit. I handed over a dollar, got my change, grabbed my bag and made a beeline for the door. I was petrified that someone was going to stop me and say that there had been a mistake and I needed to give them more money. But no! Victory! I walked out of that store to my car with an evil grin on my face, chuckling to myself. I was getting some seriously weird looks, and I think my husband was intentionally walking a few paces behind me.

I took on Kohls, and I kicked it's butt!